Friday, July 31, 2009

I want more!

I feel like I'm almost afraid to make the leap to living more simply.
I love "stuff" oh man I just LOVE stuff. I love to buy it and covet it and browse it. Every so often I get this feeling like I'm trying to fill a hole. And it's never filled with stuff. I don't know what the hole is or where it came from but I've tried filling it with other things when I was younger-booze, casual love etc but that never worked either.
I am starting to wonder if I should be filling the hole with LESS.

The things that make my soul sing are all free. My children. My husband. My friends and family. Sunshine. And just nurturing myself, my relationships, the earth. Passing on knowledge to my children. Gaining knowledge myself. Baking something healthy and delicious.

The role of a stay at home mother who home educates her kids who are all closely spaced is not always easy. It's tiring and frustrating at times. But for the most part it's rewarding and having the pleasure of being home and not at work to see my children grow is a pleasure. I love Tannah telling me what her drawings are all about. I love it when Willow wants me to be Charlie so she can be Lola. I love sitting and watching Harper's eyes smile at me when she feeds.

There is no book or pram or sling or nappy that could ever fill a hole like those things do.

So maybe the more I want is less? Living more simply. Living in the moment.

Things I know

-kids like having the same book read over & over & over...but my cat likes to hide in boxes. Sorry thought I was reading that book again.
-if something smells like sour milk it's probably a baby spew on my shoulder.
-you can fit 3 kids & 1 adult in a queen size bed pretty well.
-spending money on boring necessities like new car tyers is no fun.
-I wish there was a healthy vegetarian takeaway round the corner. Though I may never cook dinner again if that were so.
-I'm happy with raising 3 kids but could be pregnant & give birth a few more times
-i'll be madly trying to get Wiggles tickets Monday morning with everyone else. It's the closest I get to a big gig these days!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Memories...,

Whenever I go looking for hand-me-down clothes ( it's a mission-why don't they stay organized??) I always have such fun going through the clothes. They remind me of certain times that the older child wore them. I love that we have other peoples hand me downs too. Sharing the love always gives me a case of the awwww's.
I had to go through the size 2 clothes yesterday to find some new duds for Willow-she's too long for size 1 but a lot of the size 2 stuff is too wide, it's painful LOL. A lot of these clothes Tannah was wearing just before & just after we moved to QLD. Just looking at them bought up a lot of memories-I was pregnant with Willow when Tannah was wearing them. It's a shame they don't smell like then, just like they need a wash!

For a total consumer who loves buying new clothes- I sure get a lot of joy from the hand-me-downs :)

Monday, July 27, 2009

Inferiority complex

I was always one of the youngest in my class at school & have pretty much always had older friends. For some reason this always seems to make me feel like the "novice" of the group or that I always get more support/advice than I give. Especially with other Mothers.
It's strange that I often feel I don't really have much to add in the way of advice or experience except for my amusing anticdotes. Often the women I feel would have little to gain from my experience might have younger or less kids than me. So I actually might have more experience to share but still feel like I'm on my training wheels because of my age. And I'm the same with younger mums too.
I am usually pretty confident. I am not shy to meet new people or speak my piece. But for some reason when it comes to other Mothers I feel like I still have so much to learn from everyone else & little to share.
This seems to contradict how I actually parent my girls. I'm comitted to a connected and natural parenting style-which in itself requires confidence to walk a path less travelled & make choices much of the mainstream would discourage. Not to mention challenging the veiws society has about how kids should behave.
Maybe it's because parenting is such a massive journey. Maybe it's because I have learned so much about myself since becoming a Mother that I feel I've only scratched the surface on what there is to learn. Maybe I just take a lot of inspiration from all the other awesome Mamas I know. But I do need to realize that I have a fair bit of life experience when it comes to having kids & being a Mama.

Sorry for the ramble...thinking out loud

Friday, July 24, 2009

Things I know

-some weeks keeping the kids clean & fed feels like an achievement
-carseat laws keep our kids safer, and make putting 3 kids in the car a pain in the ass.
-having great friends who listen to you & accept that kids & parents have bad weeks are vital to sanity
-baby talking & cooing is adorable, unless it's at 1am
- any dodgy thing you say at or in front of your kids, they will repeat. Especially the swearing.
- co-sleeping makes for snuggly mornings.
- I am a sucker for Bonds kids clothes @ half price!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

She's how old?

Willow will be 2 in a couple of weeks. We have done SO much in that 2 years it's not even funny. Willow is so independent, vocal and capable of things beyond her years that I forget that she is only a toddler-even though we treat her like a pre-schooler, and expect as much of her too at times.

She can talk in sentences and is pretty easily understood. She can put on her own shoes and pants. She eats with cutlery and puts herself in her chair. She gets in her carseat. She (mostly) waits her turn. She wants to give undies and the toilet a go. She climbs all the big kid things at the park-to my terror at times lol. Luke puts her to bed at night.

It seems crazy that she is only still one year old! A lot of these tings she has been doing for some time. She's been walking since 10 months old so she seemed like a toddler when she was only really a baby. She has disliked being carried in a sling or carrier from pretty much then-preferring to walk or be pushed in a pram.

She is fiercely independent. Her first few words strung together were ( I kid you not) "I do dat!" and she has been trying ever since. She is doing things waaay earlier than Tannah. I wonder how much is nature and how much is nurture?

Friday, July 17, 2009

Things I know

-I'm a slack blogger
-3pm Play School is a lifesaver
-going to the post office alone feels like a holiday
-this neverending cold the kids have is wrecking my social life
-making my own play dough makes me feel like a good mother for some reason
-cooking with kids is fun but makes twice as much mess.
-Willow is not bothered by having poo in her nappy-for hours
-it matters not how dark & cold it is-my kids get up early

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Cough cough cough

Willow is coughing AGAIN!! Harper seems to have relapsed a little too. Tannah remains healthy and cough free. Thank the goddess for small favours huh?
I'm going spare. Really. They are fighting constantly, which is just getting harder to deal with without yelling at them myself. We have missed lots of fun things & spent a fair whack of cash on herbal gear.
Not to mention all the coughing when I'm trying to sleep.

I feel like stamping my foot and "hhmmmpphh"ing like Tannah & whining "it's not faaiirrrr".

Harper is only 15 weeks & Willow has been sick for most of that. So the neediness of a newborn and a toddler who is not yet 2 has been amplified by illness. This gig could actually be pretty cruisy if I wasn't forever dealing an unwell kid (or two!). The amount of night time dealing with coughing has been more than a newborn feeding cause Harper is easy at night. Noott faaaiiirrr!!

And poor Tannah is missing out on more time with me cause I'm dealing with sickies. So she is wetting the bed. I understand why she is regressing but I could live without it!

I am aware that it could be SO much worse but this is my reality and I give sick kids a bit hhhmmmppffffff!!

OK whinge over. Off to make the lunchtime herbal....

Friday, July 10, 2009

Things I know

-letting the kids jump & play on the beds keeps them busy, but ensures I will sleep on rocks & the occasional My Little Pony
-train travel with 3 small kids can be both great fun & a great pain in the ass.
-grocery shopping has turned into an outing rather than a chore-the excitement!
-kids can fight about anything. A toilet roll, which fairy they are pretending to be, who loves the baby & so on.
-Yo Gabba Gabba was clearly imagined after a big night or as a joke. But the kids think it's aawwesooome!
-I can't seem to sit & feed without playing on my iPhone.
-some weeks just drag ooonnnnnn

Body love

I just stepped out of the shower, saw my body in the full mirror & had a really good look. And for the first time in a really long time I loved what I saw.
For those who dont know me in real life I'm 30 years old & overweight. But what's not to love about my body? It's loved me.

I've abused it with drugs, alcohol & crap food over the years. I've starved it, overfed it & it's run on poor fuel. I've put uncomfortable clothes on it & hated it.

But it's always loved me back.

In the last 5 years I've carried my 3 children & fed them from my breasts. I've been breastfeeding for 4 years with only a 4 week break just before Willow was born.

When I looked in the mirror I saw soft rounded edges instead of just fat, I saw where my belly is all puckered & stretched from pregnancy as a miracle that my girls grew in there. I saw my big, saggy breasts as being well loved comforters for my kids, heavy with milk. Instead of wishing to be thin I was thinking about how best to nurture the body that has nurtured me & my kids.

I might not be a size 10 but that doesn't mean I should hate my amazing body. The more I love it & the better I treat it the healthier it will be I'm sure.

Anyway, my husband thinks I'm awesome :-)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Vegan??

I'm not really one I guess. I don't EAT any animals or their products. I do have the occasional teaspoon of honey in my chai though. So a beegan perhaps?
I haven't bought any leather or wool since going "vegan" but I do still wear what I have. My Birkenstocks & Ugg boots mainly. It seems really wasteful to buy new shoes I don't need for the sake of ridding the house you know?
But a true vegan doesn't eat OR wear animals or their products so for the sake of being a tightarse I'm failing that.
And the jury is still out on honey for me. I'm not sure that organic raw honey goes against my ethics so until I am convinced otherwise I'll still eat it.
But I must say eating vegan is quite easy once you commit. I'm finding new stuff everyday that I like, the family likes & is easy to cook. Kale anyone??

So I'm an almost beegan?

Monday, July 6, 2009

A long day

Today was Luke's RDO. We always waste his RDO's and today was going to see me take off with the kids for the day & he would potter here. Harper hates car travel & screams a lot whenever you drive anywhere. The idea of an hour in the car was making me nervous & Luke was craving family time so we made a snap decision to jump on a train & hit the zoo.
Sounds fun right? Here's how today went,

We had 30 minutes to get out of our pj's and to the train station-the fact we made it was a miracle but we did. Harper protesting at being rushed & Willow fast approaching nap time but we pressed on. At the train station we realized our pram had a flat. No biggie, we'll pump of up at the zoo. Train ride is going ace! For 10 minutes then Willow is tired & cranky & wanting to run around the moving train. Navigate train station, change trains ( cranky kid wants to be carried, flat tyre) Willow has tantrum on train & Harper is refusing to sleep-just whinging & puking all the extra "go to sleep" milk. We get there!!
Tannah trips & skins her knee at the station-carries on like leg broken.
Get into zoo!! Harper falls asleep! Luke breaks the pump the zoo lends us. While we are having lunch it starts raining, then pouring & the temperature drops about 10 degrees. Tannah & Willow are fighting & whineing. Harper wakes.

I start laughing. I look at Luke " are we having fun yet?" He laughs too.

We buy ponchos. Eat lunch & set out.

Willow falls asleep. Harper does too. It's wet, the pram tyre is fucked but Tannah is having a ball. We see the animals & there are no crowds cause of the weather which is ace. The trip home wasn't too bad either.

We stop at a friends house with a couple of other mums on the way home. Should have known better. I had clingy, tired and annoying kids. Dinner was hell with much arguing & complaining-especially about the dippiness of Tannah's egg yolk (give me strength) but now they are asleep. Even Harper who has been fighting that one all day.

It was a truly looong day and I need a stiff drink. But I think the kids had fun....didn't they? Off for a new pram tyre in the morning.

A long day

Today was Luke's RDO. We always waste his RDO's and today was going to see me take off with the kids for the day & he would potter here. Harper hates car travel & screams a lot whenever you drive anywhere. The idea of an hour in the car was making me nervous & Luke was craving family time so we made a snap decision to jump on a train & hit the zoo.
Sounds fun right? Here's how today went,

We had 30 minutes to get out of our pj's and to the train station-the fact we made it was a miracle but we did. Harper protesting at being rushed & Willow fast approaching nap time but we pressed on. At the train station we realized our pram had a flat. No biggie, we'll pump of up at the zoo. Train ride is going ace! For 10 minutes then Willow is tired & cranky & wanting to run around the moving train. Navigate train station, change trains ( cranky kid wants to be carried, flat tyre) Willow has tantrum on train & Harper is refusing to sleep-just whinging & puking all the extra "go to sleep" milk. We get there!!
Tannah trips & skins her knee at the station-carries on like leg broken.
Get into zoo!! Harper falls asleep! Luke breaks the pump the zoo lends us. While we are having lunch it starts raining, then pouring & the temperature drops about 10 degrees. Tannah & Willow are fighting & whineing. Harper wakes.

I start laughing. I look at Luke " are we having fun yet?" He laughs too.

We buy ponchos. Eat lunch & set out.

Willow falls asleep. Harper does too. It's wet, the pram tyre is fucked but Tannah is having a ball. We see the animals & there are no crowds cause of the weather which is ace. The trip home wasn't too bad either.

We stop at a friends house with a couple of other mums on the way home. Should have known better. I had clingy, tired and annoying kids. Dinner was hell with much arguing & complaining-especially about the dippiness of Tannah's egg yolk (give me strength) but now they are asleep. Even Harper who has been fighting that one all day.

It was a truly looong day and I need a stiff drink. But I think the kids had fun....didn't they? Off for a new pram tyre in the morning.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Things I know

-thai food + breastfeeding= farting baby
-I am conditioned to point out cows & horses out the car window, even when the kids are not with me
-treating sick kids with natural medicine is Expensive. Capital intended.
-3 kids & co sleeping is a very effective form of contraception
-when you get a spontaneous " luv yooo Mummy" the previous nights feet in your back are forgotten
- dummies are horrible plastic things-bless their magical powers
-4 year old girls can sound very much like 15 year old girls.
-I am very settled and happy in Victoria, I'm even getting used to the cold!
-sometimes the bathroom counter gets brushed more than the kids teeth when you are not looking
-peeing alone is a distant memory

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

New pleasure

I'm really starting to enjoy packing away the kids toys. Surprised? Well it's not for the anal reasons you think LOL.
I love looking at the games that have been played before I pack them away. We had some friends over yesterday & it appears that the dolls were being treated to tea & some sort of soup with veggies...and watermelon. The My Little Ponies were all lined up (they seem to do that a lot) and stuffed animals were enjoying birthday cake. Looks like the plastic animals were being caged up in a zoo as well. My kids get lots of time for free play & they are really making up some involved games of late. The play kitchen & bits are such good toys & lots of games stem from that. The plastic animals & blocks get heaps of love as well. Not to mention that they are often dressed up while playing.
I am endlessly facinated at seeing how my kids minds work. Free play is so nourishing to that & packing the toys away gives me a peek into those amazing minds :-)
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