Thursday, August 5, 2010

Blossoming

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Tannah is really coming out of her shell of late.

She has always been happiest close to Mama and Daddy and everything that is familiar to her. She has always been very cautious when it comes to the unfamiliar which could mean anything from a group of kids she didn't know or a big slide at the park. She is a sensitive soul, our Tannah. Sensitive to change, pain, noise, film content and so on. I know that we have been judged as "making" her that way by never forcing her into situations where she felt uncomfortable. I know The "rod for your back" police have told me on more than one occasion that she needs to "get used" to other people and situations. I know that when she has cried for not wanting to join in with big groups of kids it has been judged as because of my parenting, not in spite of it. I know that my consoling her for what is often seen as little things to be upset over has been seen as re-enforcing her fear or "babying" her.

But Tannah is blossoming.

Because she knows she won't be forced into situations and she won't be judged for being scared or cautious she is challenging herself a lot of late. She is more than happy to spend a night at her grandparents house (at her request) and has even had a sleepover with her besties that was very much enjoyed. She really enjoys the company of some very loud and physical boys from a few different places-the type of kids who would have had her glued to me 6 months ago. She found out she can be dropped off at her circus class and loves waving me off and seeing me arrive back to tell me all about it. At circus class she swings on ropes, hangs on a trapeze and is in a large mixed sex class. All of these things would have been a huge issue in the past. We went to the cinema recently which we have never done because of the noise and she enjoyed it-she did complain about the volume but was happy to stay until the end.

I feel like all my (most of the time) patience is paying off. I think that if we had pushed her before she was ready to test her own boundaries we might have made her more fearful. I know she is grateful for us being there to support her in whatever she does and doesn't want to participate because she said this-

"I'm not scared of staying at circus because I know you'd stay if I want you to. And I like doing the trapeze because it's fun, even though it's a bit scary. And I know it's OK to be scared, but it's fun to try to forget the scary!"

What a big grown up girl huh?

6 comments:

Nic said...

Good for you Tannah ! I could have written that post about our Freya. Being patient and loving has definately helped Freya come out of her shell, and I definately agree that pushing them before they are ready will make things 10 times worse.

Jess said...

YAY Tannah! I know it all works but to see it in action is ace isn't it?
Miss you people :(

anastasia_wolf said...

Yay! So lovely to hear, big gold star for you Shae ;).

katepickle said...

Yay for 'Our Tannah'... she is a gorgeous young lady with quite a bit of spunk as well as being lovely and sensitive. Too often people see being 'sensitive' as a bad thing... and really it doesn't have to be that way!

Jesseca Amy Harris (nee Hoath) said...

Shae this post really resonates with me. Oscar is like Tannah. Other than Nicki, his family day care on a Monday, he wont stay with anyone else. Just us. But especially me. And like you I know that by keeping him close will ultimately be for his benefit. If that is where he feels safest & most secure then that is what I feel he needs. But I get those comments, 'he needs to learn to be comforted by someone else other than you'. No he doesn't! If I am here and he wants me then he can have me! What a croc!

Anyway ... I get to your posts once every few weeks and just love reading them.

Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

Stunning story there. What occurred after? Good luck!


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